I don’t remember us getting along well the first night we met, but I think we both knew that the conflict was as fake as the version of ourselves we were performing.
But then I was such an uncertain mess at that age that I didn’t know what to make of myself, either. But she also was clearly smart and determined and so entirely different from most people I had ever known, a slice of Jersey in my-until then-entirely Californian life. My sense of smell is sensitive, and neither I nor anyone in my family ever smoked, so it set that first meeting on edge. Meg was a constant smoker then, and so my first impression of her was a rolling wave of cigarette smell. In a person’s early twenties, the human being who eventually will form naturally with time has to be hastily scraped together from the shaky models of movies and social media.
Joseph fink worth full#
“We were 22 and full of the posturing performance that substitutes for personality at that age. This sword cuts both ways, some of his biggest moments are missed by me, busy with my own story.īelow are selected excerpts from the joint memoir The First Ten Years by Joseph Fink and Meg Bashwiner. There are stories he never mentions or even remembers and to me, they are pivotal to both who I am and who we are. There are moments where he remembers himself to be stubborn and I remember him to the brave. There are times where I talk about being scared and he talks about my kindness during those same times. Leave it to a nonfiction writer to be obsessive about fact and the novelist to come through and show her that the facts only have power through the perspective of feeling. Yes, we disagree on stuff-which room we were in when we had our first conversations about spending our life together, the minute details of moving into our house, who paid for the morning after pill procured following our first date-but to me the disagreements of fact punched a lot softer than the disagreements of feeling. Each of us telling our story with our disagreements splashed across the pages. If you’ve ever been in a long-term relationship, you’ve likely have had at least one argument that led to one or both of you saying “I never said that!” How does that argument play out over the course of a joint memoir? Initially, I thought that would be the crux of our book. I am an essayist, focusing on nonfiction.
In 2019 my husband Joseph thought that it might be interesting to write a memoir together about the past ten years of our life. That is the preface for The First Ten Years, our memoir. Any discrepancies in fact or memory are accidental and fiercely disagreed upon.” We wrote these chapters in 2019 without consulting one another beforehand. “This book chronicles the first ten years of our relationship, from each of our points of view.
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